Dazed, Beautiful And Bruised

Posted: November 23, 2012 in Arts & Entertainment, Random Stuff, World News and Events

White Ribbon Day comes along this weekend, on the Sunday 25th to be exact, and I hope everyone takes a minute or two to stop and consider what it is all about, particularly the men.

For those who don’t know White Ribbon Days origins or what it is all about you can read more about it in my earlier post “I Swear”, but for those who couldn’t be bothered, White Ribbon Day is a day in which we wear a white ribbon to show our contempt for violence against women.

I won’t be writing a great deal on this post, as I think a picture tells a thousand words, but what one thing I will say is that hitting a woman does not make you a bigger man, in fact quite the opposite.

It is important that as a society we send a clear message that violence against women will not be tolerated.

In Australia we have seen a number of celebrities commit violent acts against women, and I don’t really understand why we continue to support them.

Designer Wayne Cooper for example.

Sarah Marsh, Coopers defacto wife of 12 years came forward with allegations of abuse. Cooper has allegedly hit her in the mouth, splitting her lip, and threatened her with a knife, holding it to her throat and threatening to cut her fingers off. All this after she had just recovered from cancer surgery, what a nice guy.

Yet women still buy his clothes, his rags are still available at Myer “My Store”. Maybe Myer’s next ad campaign could have Jennifer Hawkins made up with a fat split lip and a bruised face, bloodstains down the front of her clothes. Then again, maybe they should just de-range all of Coopers rags.

A UK campaign featuring a well known model

We love our sport in Australia, we love our footy in particular. Games like Rugby League do so much to promote a healthy attitude towards women. Who can forget the 4 Corners episode that turned the game on its head in 2009 with allegations of a culture of sexual abuse?

There are some players who are genuine exceptions and do promote a healthy attitude to women, players like Hazem El Masri, and Nathan Hindmarsh, who is a White Ribbon Day Ambassador, and I hope these guys influence others.

Meanwhile the NRL code supports bastards like Greg Bird, who was granted bail by the courts, and promptly took off to captain a rugby team in France, after allegations that he beat his girlfriend and then glassed her in the face. Codes like the NRL may see the potential in men who permanently scar the faces of women with broken glass, I don’t.

The number of assaults on women by NRL players are too many to count, but here’s a link to a story on the Roosters Anthony Watts after he was alleged to have beaten up his girlfriend. At what point will the code make a stand that isn’t just a soundbite or a headline to attempt to undo the damage caused by a player? It is about time that something was done to put a permanent end to this behaviour.

Actors like Matthew Newton have also made headlines for all the wrong reasons. I know that there are issues with mental illness in Matthew’s case, but in my mind the jury is still out as to whether that is an adequate excuse. I genuinely hope he is getting the help he needs, and I also hope that Brooke Satchwell and Rachael Taylor received the support they deserved.

Although White Ribbon Day is about violence towards women, we also need to remember that not all violence involves actually striking someone. Threatening behaviour and physical intimidation of women are just as gutless, and just as bad. In fact any intentional act that makes a woman fear for her safety is an act.

Pushing, shoving, or hitting is quite obviously violence, however raising your hand as if to strike a woman, cornering a woman, physically blocking her path are acts of violence. So too are punching walls on either side of a woman’s head, or making threatening gestures and comments towards a woman.

We live in a society that is tolerant most of the time. However violence towards women is one of the things that we should never tolerate.

I hope you will join me in making the pledge, and supporting White Ribbon Day.

To find out how to do your part, check out the website here.

  1. Catching up says:

    wixxy, the pictures do not tell it all. What they do not tell is the verbal and psychological abuse, which believe it or not, is much worse. Nearly impossible to stop.

    They do not tell, how the abuse comes about. In most cases it grows slowly over time. They do not show how hard it is for woman to realize they need to get out, until it is too late, because they have not the energy to do so.

    The photos do not show that it destroys the kids as well.

    They do not show, it is the strong woman who often suffers the most. Women who are strong enough to believe they can make things right.

    They do not show, that even after one moves on, the abuse follows you, throughout your life, often after the abuser has long gone to his maker.

    Sexual abuse of children and domestic violence are level pegging in the harm they cause to people and society.

    Sometimes, they even go together.

    • Kim says:

      To ..Catching Up…verbal and psychological abuse is the result of a pathalogical Narcissistic Relationship…This type of abuse (domestic violence) is not recognised in Society, most people and victims don’t even know what a Narcissist is!!! It is delivered to the recipient (victim) very very subtly as a passive aggressive abuse over weeks, months and decades and its aftermath is devestating to victims and their families. The Psychological Trauma as a victim whose trusted and loved partner turns into a evil Jeckle and Hyde monster to achieve taking whatever they want ( be it money, power, control, or the pleasure to just destroy because they can) at any cost (even murder) is life damaging to the victim and extremely traumatising. White Ribbon can be a great vehicle for society to recognise the victims of Narcissistic Abuse…google VICTIM SYNDROME OF CUNNING COVERT PATHALOGICAL NARCISSISTIC ABUSE…

      You are correct, this type of verbal passive aggressive covert type of narcissistic abuse….lasts a lifetime….and the perpetrators often get away with it!!!

  2. Heather says:

    Great post Wixxy.

  3. Catching up says:

    Good post. One that cannot be repeated to often.

  4. salzagal says:

    Good on you, Peter.

    Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2012 01:26:19 +0000 To: sal_biz@hotmail.com

  5. Daisy says:

    Another good post and I am so glad to see you keeping the momentum for white ribbon day. There is a lot of ignorance about domestic violence and the more it is discussed, the more people learn to understand. I found that a very common attitude was “I don’t want to get involved or take sides.” For anyone reading who knows someone experiencing violence or abuse, I urge you to google the relevant DV organisation in your state or territory and give them the number, let them use your phone (safer) or just let them talk.

    Something that many people don’t realise is how financial abuse is very much a part of the situation. Fear for children plays a big part too… making the decision to leave means that your chilren are likely to have contact visits to a violent parent without you there to protect them. It is a very hard decision to make (and there are plenty of times I wonder if I did the right thing even now). It is pretty typical to hear throwaway comments about women who don’t leave but before judging, please try to understand fully because it really isn’t that easy.

  6. SG Warren says:

    The thing that gets me about the Matthew Newton stories is that the MSM constantly talks about having to respect his mental health issues, but lets be blunt here – his mental health issues are a direct result of him over-indulging in amphetamines and cocaine in excessive amounts, and every time he has been arrested for domestic violence there have been drugs involved.

    How is it that the police never seem to find anything to charge him for on the drugs front?

    One law for the rest of us and a different one for celebrities and their offspring it seems.

  7. Artemistic says:

    I agree Kym. I listened to a large number of women who had been through Relationships involving men who suffer from Narcissism. Several years ago i went to a lecture on Domestic Violence and left with the question of the type of abuse they suffered, so by listening to women and having far more understanding of the disorder that inflicts abusive men, I soon came to realise that many women who have been in violent abuse also have been subjected to far greater abuse which causes a lot of mental damage. The lies they tell, but at the same time falsely accuse their spouse of being the liar. The way they defame their wives, hide a side to them, that makes them become addicted to many women they have affairs with yet at the same time having a fake facade to hide under, which makes other people believe them and how could it be possible, that these men harm their wives. Yes even those involved in Domestic Violence groups haven’t heard of Narcissism and if anyone mentions the disorder, no one wants to know about it, because they don’t know what it is. Julia Gillard I feel very sorry for. At the time she was madly in love with Wilson, yet even behind her back he was playing around. It must have been a very heartbreaking time for her and i don’t really call these females Naive, because these types of men seem to go for those who are very caring and with much empathy, to be able to feed off for adoration and attention. Some wives take back these men hoping they can change them, but the abuse still continues and the emotional damage becomes worse. Anyone in that type of relationship has my full understanding of the pain they have gone through.

  8. hi i hope u don’t mind if i share this petition i made myself to help stop violence against women! if u care about this pls sign and share!x


  9. Marilyn says:

    We are jailing women and girls who have claimed asylum here and think it is marvellous torture.

  10. diane bennett says:

    it starts at everyone’s home and radiates out from there. there should be no tolerance for the abuse of women. if you see it you should call it out for what it is. but while high profile sportsmen and media personalities are allowed to continue high profile lives even when there has been court action
    then here is not much hope – is there?

  11. Tim says:

    Regarding Matthew Newton’s “mental illness”, I would have thought that any act of physical violence against a woman (or anyone for that matter) isn’t exactly what I’d call sane behaviour.

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