Welcome To My Nightmare

Posted: September 29, 2011 in Politics



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Being the type of helpful chap I am, I thought I would do my bit to help out the artistic amongst you out there.

If any of you have ever thought of joining a Death Metal band, or making a horror movie, I have an idea for a title, band name, or maybe a theme you could run with.

Allow me to explain my theory…

In the death metal scene, bands like to have scary names. Names like Cannibal Corpse, Sadistic Execution, and Destruction…. you get the idea I’m sure. Not only are the band names supposed to be scary, but so are the song titles, and album titles. Of particular importance is the album cover, bands will go to extreme lengths to try and outdo each other. The more scary and confrontational the cover, the better. Below is an example.

It occurred to me the other day, as much as these young lads strive, and as hard as they may try, they have all missed an golden opportunity to really scare the crap out of people.

There is something out there that is far scarier than anything your vivid imaginations could conjure up. I mean something that makes people scream in rage, something that makes people turn violent, it is something that makes the nation’s blood boil.

Forget Wolf Creek, that is for wimps, what I am talking about causes political upheaval. Elections are won and lost over it.

I am talking about The Boats.

With so many easily led and needlessly fearful people screaming to “Stop The Boats”, and “Turn Back The Boats”, boats, I assume, would have to be the scariest thing on earth.

If you named your band “The Boats” you would have people protesting at every gig, many would be scared to show up. Imagine the media circus “Introducing the band that Tony Abbott couldn’t stop”. A simple album cover picture like the one below, makes the Cannibal Corpse effort above look lame. An album cover like this would probably see your album banned in most stores, or have to be sold under the counter. Stores would be too scared to put something that controversial on the shelf.

While you are at it, don’t go making your group look all silly like this….

Try to look really scary, something like this bunch…

They are so scary, that they clearly needed to be held back at gunpoint.

The same would go for horror movies.

Hitchcock did “The Birds”, you could do “The Boats”. Instead of having a villain that looked like this:

You could have one that looked like this:

That is much scarier.

In your film, dozens of them could come swarming in by boat. By day they could run around the nation stealing highly sought after jobs like cab drivers or cleaners, leaving people like you and me unemployable. By night they can meet up and plan to terrorise communities. They don’t need to blow things up, just their presence is enough to strike fear into the hearts of so many. After all, nobody wants them in their neighbourhood.

Now it may seem odd to some, that such desperate, hungry, poor, and scared people would be considered something to fear, but alas it is true.

Apparently they are arriving here by the millions, spreading disease and plotting terror attacks. It is an invasion, and we are no longer capable of protecting our borders.

These things have to be true, people like Andrew Bolt, Alan Jones and Tony Abbott said so…..



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Comments
  1. Excellent site. Great post. Well done.

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