Pity The Poor Bogans (sort of)

Posted: October 27, 2010 in Dummy Spits

A strange event seems to be taking place in my area, and in fact across a large portion of Sydney. Now one look at me will tell anybody with any delusions, that I am in fact, quite blind when it comes to the world of fashion, however this trend has even caught my attention.

The trend I talk of is a hairstyle (a term I use loosely), that I thought was from a time we tried to forget. I am speaking of the “Rats Tail” and it is a return that is as unwelcome as the return of the mullet, which I have also seen a bit of recently.

The scary thing is that my local shopping centre isn’t buried in the heart of the Western Suburbs as you might expect from what I just told you, and, in fact, my job has me travelling all over NSW and the country and this is a trend that appears to be spreading like a virus.

The people I speak of are the Bogans, or Rednecks, and can, for the uneducated, usually be picked by their strange smell or their complete lack of style, intelligence, or self respect, it would seem.

The reason I bring this up is this. I was doing my best to achieve some level of fitness by going for a cycle ride, when whilst travelling down a hill at a terrifying speed, I saw a SS Commodore with a female driver, at the cross street at the bottom of the hill.
I only caught a brief glimpse of the girl driving, and I’m not saying she looked rough, but a gypsy’s dog would think twice before trying to hump her leg…
Anyhow, she thought that before I passed her she would pretend to be going to pull out in front of me. Just to see if I’d shit my shorts presumably. Alas I didn’t. Therefore, not content to let me off she decided to turn in the direction I was heading and rev the crap out of the motor as she passed, hoping this time she might have the desired effect. Alas another failure to notch up on her wall of shame.

I am sure you have all witnessed similar behaviour, usually from Bogans in Commodores or Falcons, and more often than not, utes.

If you were to ask one of these creatures, as I have, why they always drive a Holden or Ford, the response is usually the same “’cause it’s a farkin’ Aussie car mate”.

If there is by chance a bogan reading this, I have two words for you. “Big, Fucking, Mac”, your cars are about as Aussie as a McDonalds burger, they may well be made here, but they are as Amercian as KFC.

Another thing about the bogan ute, or car, is that it is usually decorated with a Southern Cross sticker, and another sticker that will usually say something like “Australia – Love It Or Leave It”.
Here is some news dipshits, last I checked, Australia is a multicultural nation, love it or leave it…, so I guess you will be leaving.
Now, if you bogans have nowhere else to go, I’m not one to endorse suicide, however… the future of our nation would likely be brighter without your genes dog paddling in our gene pool at any rate.

Anyhow, I don’t know if I’ve been running around blind for several years, as this scary trend seems to have crept up on us. It came to our attention around the time of the Cronulla Riots, where the Australian flag and Southern Cross first became symbols of both hatred and stupidity, with every bogan in Sydney it seemed, converging on one suburb, to do, what in their minds was probably Standing Up For Australia.
Meanwhile those of us who choose to use more than 1% of our brains, hung our heads in shame, as Australians were touted as a bunch of racist rednecks in the worlds media.

I don’t know how, and if, any of this can be fixed now, as the horse seems to have well and truly bolted, however one thing I do know is that this sort of behaviour should not be encouraged, Certainly not by the leader of a major political party. But slogans like “Stop The Boats”, and “Peaceful Invasion” are doing nobody any favours, only justifying the mindset of a group of racist morons. Sure they are a voting demographic, but not one to pander to.

Anyway, enough of my whinging, I would like to do my little bit to help, as what these people obviously need is an education, so here’s a bit of a start for all you Bogans out there. A few points to repeat and memorise.

General Motors Holden and Ford are American companies.
There are many brands of beer not just VB.
Cousins are relatives, not sex partners.
Rats tails belong just above a rats arse, not on your head.
Our race was the first to arrive in Australia by boat.

Hope that information helps you.

Deadshits.



Charity Shop

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